The feeling that kills.
Wow, I don't even know why I feel this way but heck this is how I'm feeling. But before I post anymore, I want to make you all understand a few things about me.
1. I have hope no matter what I feel. And I'll post more on this hope later.
2. I think, and some of my friends who are studying in this field of medicine think I suffer from depression, so I might tend to blow things out of preportion.
3. I am a teenager, whose body is still learing how it should function.
4. It's 1 AM, and things are different at this time.
So, now that that is out of the way let me begin with how I'm feeling at this exact moment in time. I think that this feeling is the worst feeling one can have. I know that it kills, I know that is steals the courage of all men from time to time. This feeling is controlling, it steals almost all hope, and it's the greatest lie of all.
I feel ALONE. I feel, completly and utterly alone and lost. I know that this isn't true, but it sure as heck feels true.
Do you ever get that feeling, on your road of life, where it's getting dark, the air is just cold enough that you wish you had a jacket? Yet you forgot one when you started down that path? Right when the sun is setting over the horizon, and the stars, which you wish would give you a ray of hope, don't come out? Have you ever felt like this path that you are walking down is leading to nowhere? That you started this journey alone, you're on it alone, and you'll end it alone? Or! That you started it with many friends, and then *poof!* they're gone to somewhere else and you're stuck there. Stuck to finish the journey, or to just wait. Have you ever felt so empty? So void of all human contact? Compassion? Love? Have you ever wished for a moment that you could connect! REALLY connect with someone who doesn't just leave you when their road bends off onto another path? Do you crave that conversation that isnt' just about "What good movies you've seen recently"? Do you beg for deep within you a soul who you could talk to? And I mean REALLY talk to, tell everything and know that that person will never betray you, never leave you, never forsake you to the lonely road?
Yeah, so that's how I'm feeling. Is that how you feel? Do you crave those things? I have an answer. Do you have an answer and what is your answer? I'll post my answer later. Right now, it's time for some sleep for David.
Walk with hope,
David
1. I have hope no matter what I feel. And I'll post more on this hope later.
2. I think, and some of my friends who are studying in this field of medicine think I suffer from depression, so I might tend to blow things out of preportion.
3. I am a teenager, whose body is still learing how it should function.
4. It's 1 AM, and things are different at this time.
So, now that that is out of the way let me begin with how I'm feeling at this exact moment in time. I think that this feeling is the worst feeling one can have. I know that it kills, I know that is steals the courage of all men from time to time. This feeling is controlling, it steals almost all hope, and it's the greatest lie of all.
I feel ALONE. I feel, completly and utterly alone and lost. I know that this isn't true, but it sure as heck feels true.
Do you ever get that feeling, on your road of life, where it's getting dark, the air is just cold enough that you wish you had a jacket? Yet you forgot one when you started down that path? Right when the sun is setting over the horizon, and the stars, which you wish would give you a ray of hope, don't come out? Have you ever felt like this path that you are walking down is leading to nowhere? That you started this journey alone, you're on it alone, and you'll end it alone? Or! That you started it with many friends, and then *poof!* they're gone to somewhere else and you're stuck there. Stuck to finish the journey, or to just wait. Have you ever felt so empty? So void of all human contact? Compassion? Love? Have you ever wished for a moment that you could connect! REALLY connect with someone who doesn't just leave you when their road bends off onto another path? Do you crave that conversation that isnt' just about "What good movies you've seen recently"? Do you beg for deep within you a soul who you could talk to? And I mean REALLY talk to, tell everything and know that that person will never betray you, never leave you, never forsake you to the lonely road?
Yeah, so that's how I'm feeling. Is that how you feel? Do you crave those things? I have an answer. Do you have an answer and what is your answer? I'll post my answer later. Right now, it's time for some sleep for David.
Walk with hope,
David
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, February 09, 2005 at 12:44 AM.
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9/2/05 2:36 PMHey David, I am coming home less this semester...3 times...including spring break! That is quite a bit less than last semester. I do admit I was home a lot, but you have to keep in mind that I grew up with a twin brother who I don't live with anymore. This is the longest I have ever been without him. It's hard. Do you not like me coming home? Do you not want me to come back? gee...I feel unloved! :-) Keep pressin into the Lord, David, and you are never alone! I love ya kid!
8/4/05 9:30 AM
Its hard isnt it. If i know you like i think i do, you'll find a way out one way or another, like im sure you have.
Good night...David.
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