Truth and Treasures
I know so many people who would love to go on a treasure hunt. Just to have that sense of adventure, and possibly, the sense of discovering something that no one has seen for many an age.
I went on that treasure hunt, and instead of digging up something golden, and beautiful, it's like I've become a grave robber. I wish I could have played ignorance, and lived my life without knowing the things that I know now, but I didn't. The foundation of my life, and of my faith is being shaken, and I hope that it will withstand the blows I'm facing now.
Have you ever had that feeling that you're living a lie? Have you ever lived a lie? It's almost like the Matrix. You just want to give up, stop fighting even though the real battle is only just begining. And only if you hadn't been curious, you would have been in that Matrix forever. You would have lived your normal everyday life without knowing what is going on the world around you. I wish I could go back to the "Jesus loves me yes I know for the Bible tells me so" stage of my faith. But now that I know, there's no going back. To go back would be a death.
I'm upset with the Church, not with God, not with the Bible, not with Jesus. I'm upset at how watered down Christianity is today. For as soon as I started studying the Bible, the watered down faith began to be revealed and harsh truth was revealed.
Truth isn't always going to be love and feeling Jesus. Truth is hardcore. Truth burns, Truth isn't easy.
I went on that treasure hunt, and instead of digging up something golden, and beautiful, it's like I've become a grave robber. I wish I could have played ignorance, and lived my life without knowing the things that I know now, but I didn't. The foundation of my life, and of my faith is being shaken, and I hope that it will withstand the blows I'm facing now.
Have you ever had that feeling that you're living a lie? Have you ever lived a lie? It's almost like the Matrix. You just want to give up, stop fighting even though the real battle is only just begining. And only if you hadn't been curious, you would have been in that Matrix forever. You would have lived your normal everyday life without knowing what is going on the world around you. I wish I could go back to the "Jesus loves me yes I know for the Bible tells me so" stage of my faith. But now that I know, there's no going back. To go back would be a death.
I'm upset with the Church, not with God, not with the Bible, not with Jesus. I'm upset at how watered down Christianity is today. For as soon as I started studying the Bible, the watered down faith began to be revealed and harsh truth was revealed.
Truth isn't always going to be love and feeling Jesus. Truth is hardcore. Truth burns, Truth isn't easy.
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 at 2:46 PM.
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3/5/05 7:21 PMThe church has watered down the gospel, and frankly, its really frustrating. I'd love to talk about it with you when I get back. See you then.
6/5/05 1:58 PM
Hey Abbey, sorry I didn't make myself clear. I wasn't meaning the church as in the people, I was talking about how as a church today, it seems that, well the universal church has a mindset that's theologically off track. You all get it, I'm talking about the churches I've been to outside of ours. The ones I end up on their website, and they all got stuck on Jesus love me this I know junk. We're going places, other people just seem to stay put. And I'm tired of it. I'm also tired of how people try and cushion God. We used to live in a society that thought that God was a judge, now we see him as a God of love, what we need is both, and not one or the other.
Sorry I wasn't clear on that!
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